


Somewhere In Between

by katlynwtf



Series: ASH [2]
Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, OC Story, angst fluff and smutty stuff, will tag as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2018-11-09 08:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katlynwtf/pseuds/katlynwtf
Summary: Only by letting go of who they used to be can one become who they were meant to be.





	1. Homecoming

_Wind howled through the night, carrying the scent of blood and burnt flesh, echoing with the screams of the dying. Lightning flashed across the dark sky, briefly illuminating two lone figures in the center of the carnage, pressed so close together that they looked like one, and a glint of silver stained crimson._

_A single scream echoed louder than the others, the keening plea saturated with agony and grief._

_"Asuna!"_

Soaked with sweat and gasping for air, Kakashi Hatake sat bolt upright in bed. His nightmare had been so vivid, so real, and instinctively, he reached across the bed - he shouldn't have been surprised when all he felt were cold sheets.

_It's just a recon mission_ , he reminded himself, flopping back down onto his pillow, trying to shake the feeling of dread that was currently making its home in his gut. _She'll be fine._

Kakashi had never been one to let worry get the best of him. He firmly believed that whatever was going to happen was going to happen, but it had been three months and five days since he'd woken to an empty bed and he was going out of his mind. If anyone had told him four years ago that he would be this worked up, enough to know that it had been three months and five days since Asuna left, he would have laughed in their faces.

But Asuna Shiratori just had that effect on him, he supposed. He was supposed to be focused on preparing his team of genin for their first C-rank assignment, a simple escort mission to the Land of Waves, and instead he was thinking about his girlfriend. He wasn't even sure if 'girlfriend' was what he would call her, though it didn't really matter. Either way, it was a distraction, one he couldn't afford to spare a thought for at the moment - not when he had the lives of three children in his hands.

Even so, Kakashi couldn't help but worry. They had fought the night before Asuna left, when she had sprung the news that she would be leaving for a classified S-rank mission and didn't know when she'd be back. He had taken it terribly, despite the fact that she had broken the rules to tell him about the mission specifically to keep him from worrying, unable to stop thinking about the last time she'd been on a mission that led her to her brother Akio, one that had ended with her being declared killed in action. She had come home safe, but the two weeks where he hadn't known if she was alive or dead had been the worst two weeks of his life, and he didn't ever want to endure a repeat of that feeling.

In the end, Asuna had won the argument, and as much as he hated the idea of it, he had no choice but to let it go. She had spent the night making it up to him with a proper send-off, and when he woke the next morning she was already gone.

If he was being honest, though, he was more angry about the fact that she had waited until the night before she was supposed to leave to talk to him about it. A part of him had wondered if she had planned to tell him at all, but he had shaken that thought fairly quickly - they had promised there would be no more secrets between them, no more lies, and just as she trusted him to keep his end, he trusted her to do the same.

Trust. With Asuna at his side, Kakashi had made enormous progress, but complete, unadulterated trust was still such a foreign concept to him, a language that he was still learning. But he was learning, and that was what mattered.

\---

Asuna smiled when the gates of the Hidden Leaf Village finally came into view, eyes drawn to the red Leaf symbol painted above them. It had only been three months, but she had been looking forward to this moment since the day they left - being home, seeing Kakashi... But her hopes fell when she saw a trio of children standing near the gate, talking amongst themselves. She recognized them instantly as Kakashi's genin, and she could tell by the packs they carried, the older gentleman standing nearby, that they were about to leave on a mission. Her only comfort was the fact that Kakashi wasn't there yet. _I might get to see him_.

"You three go home, get some rest," Asuna told her teammates as they passed beneath the gates, glancing over her shoulder at them. "I'll report to the Hokage." Not one of them complained, and she watched them head off before ducking into a nearby alley to wait. She didn't want to distract Kakashi, but she really wanted to see him before he left.

She wasn't waiting long before she felt a familiar warmth wrapping around her waist, a brush of rough fabric against her cheek.

"Hey," Kakashi mumbled, and a smile tugged up the corners of her lips as she turned in his hold, wrapping her arms around his neck and inhaling deeply. He smelled like the air before a summer storm, a scent that spoke of rain and lightning mingled with damp earth. He smelled like home. "You just get back?"

"Yeah," she replied, drawing back just enough to go up on her tiptoes and kiss him through his mask, wishing she could pull it down and kiss him the way she wanted to kiss him, the way she had been wanting to kiss him for three months now, but she knew he would never allow it. Even in the shadow of the alley, they were too exposed. "You heading out?"

"Simple mission in the Land of Waves," he answered, his visible grey eye closing as he smiled behind his mask. "I'll be back before you know it." She hummed softly in response, taking a step back to look at him. It had been four years, but she still wasn't used to seeing him in Jonin blues - or seeing him so relaxed, for that matter. She liked it, though. Relaxed was a good look on him. She smiled again, reaching up to brush a hand through his hair.

"You need a haircut," she mused, ruffling the silky silver strands. He chuckled, gently swatting her hand away. It was a silly thing to worry about at the moment, having not seen each other in three months and about to be separated again for who knew how long, but it was something normal, and right now she could use a little normal. "Let me cut it when you get back."

"All right." Kakashi stared at her a moment longer, then glanced at something behind her with a sigh. "I should go." He made no move to leave, though, open eye meeting her gaze once more. Like her, he wasn't ready to leave just yet, craving just a minute more of each other's company. But his team was waiting, and as much as they might want to, they couldn't stay here forever.

"Yeah, you should go now." She couldn't resist going up on her tiptoes to kiss him again before moving her mouth to his ear, lowering her voice to a suggestive purr. "There will be a lot of dirty 'I missed you' sex to look forward to. Hurry home."

"You had to tell me that now?" he groaned, dropping his head forward onto her shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist once more as he pulled her close. "Damn it, you're evil."

"I know." Asuna smirked, turning her head to kiss his neck before stepping back, out of his arms. "Get out of here, they're waiting for you." He nodded, looking a little dazed as he walked past her toward the opening of the alley. She watched him go with a small smile, raising her voice just enough that his sensitive hearing would pick up on it. "Be safe. I love you." He turned his head, winking over his shoulder at her before disappearing from sight.

Asuna wished she could have had more than a minute with him, but for now, that minute was enough.

Sighing, she left the alley, making her way toward the Hokage's office. She considered going home to shower first, but if she did that, she'd probably fall in bed and completely forget to report to the Hokage at all - she'd barely slept in the last few days, too eager to get home. While she was sad she wouldn't get to curl up next to Kakashi, it didn't dampen her excitement to go home and crawl into bed. She was used to sleeping on the ground, but she had missed her bed nonetheless.

She regretted her decision not to go home when she was standing on the wrong end of the Hokage's disappointed stare after telling him how every bit of intel they had gathered on their mission had been stolen. She did tell him everything she could remember, but their intel had been so much more detailed.

"The good thing is, whoever took it won't be able to read it," Asuna said, biting her lip nervously and averting her gaze, unable to stand the disappointed stare any longer. "Kenta taught us his family's four layer chakra seal. No one else will ever know what we found out about the Hidden Sound Village, nor will they ever be able to trace it back to the Leaf."

"That is some good news, I suppose," the Hokage sighed, and she heard him inhale as he took a puff on his pipe, filling the room with the scent of tobacco. "Very well. You and your team should take a few days to rest, and then report back to me for your next assignment. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir." Bowing respectfully, Asuna turned and left, shutting the door behind her and taking a deep breath. She had honestly expected a lot worse than the Hokage's famous stare of disappointment for their failure, but she definitely wasn't going to complain about it.

It was only a few blocks from the Hokage's office to her apartment, but she walked slowly, enjoying the sunshine and the soft breeze, the strange mixture of aromas that always hung over the streets, the sound of children laughing and playing. The Hidden Sound Village had been eerily quiet, and she didn't think she had come across a single child while she was there.

Yes, she had definitely missed home.

Asuna took the stairs of her apartment building two at a time, pausing to wave at her landlady Mina, who was coming out of her apartment just down the way, before fitting her key in her front door and opening it, stripping down the instant it was shut behind her again. She left her clothes piled by the door, padding silently through the apartment to the bathroom.

"Oh, hot water, how I've missed you," she murmured as she turned on the water, as hot as she could stand it, before stepping beneath the spray. As she stood there enjoying the feeling of hot water after having spent the last few months bathing in a river, letting it work out the tension in her muscles, she found her mind drawn to the last time she'd been in her shower. She could almost feel Kakashi standing behind her, pressing soft kisses to her neck as his hands roamed her body, turning her around, mouth moving further and further down her body as he slowly lowered himself to his knees... Her eyes snapped open, heat spreading through her body at the memory.

Kami, she could not wait for Kakashi to get home. She was going to lock him in her bedroom and they would not be leaving for a while.

Heaving a sigh, she picked up a washcloth and the bar of soap, setting to work on scrubbing the dirt and grime of the road from her skin. Her dark hair would be difficult, so she washed that last, working carefully through the knots and tangles until she could run her hands through it with ease. Satisfied she was clean, she turned off the water and got out, drying off and wrapping the towel around her hair.

She didn't bother turning on the light in her room, digging a pair of panties and a t-shirt out of her dresser and tugging them on before falling into bed, burying her face in the pillow and wrapping her blanket around herself like a cocoon. She had dreamed about this moment for so long, but the soft warmth and comfort of her bed was so much better in reality.

The only thing missing was Kakashi.


	2. Alone In This Bed

Once you got used to waking up to the warmth of someone next to you, waking up alone felt wrong. That was all Asuna could think about as she opened her eyes to the cold emptiness of her apartment - waking up without Kakashi felt wrong. By now, she would think that she'd be used to waking up alone - she'd done it most of her life, after all, but still, she had become accustomed to the slight dip in the bed that meant Kakashi was next to her, the warm weight of his arm across her waist, the heat of his skin against hers like a furnace. Sure, she had already gone without it for three months, she could manage a week or however long Kakashi's mission lasted, but she still missed it. Not even the familiar chirp of the birds that had made their home outside her window could make up for the ache of Kakashi's absence.

Sighing, she snuggled deeper into her blankets, trying to will herself to get out of bed. She really didn't want to, content to stay there all day, but the decision was made for her when a knock sounded on the door. Groaning, she dragged herself out of her cozy pile of blankets, letting her senses expand until she felt a familiar chakra signature outside her door. Irritation forgotten, she grinned as she dug sweatpants out of her dresser and tugged them on, heading out to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open to smile up at the tall brunet standing outside.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes," she said, pulling him into a tight hug, then holding him out at arms length, reaching up to ruffle his hair, almost to his shoulders now. "Did everyone grow their hair out while I was gone? You'd think I was away for three years, not three months."

"You're adorable," her best friend replied, grinning back at her and tousling her dark hair in response, and her eyes widened with delight when he held up a small brown bag with his other hand. "Brought you a present. You going to let me in or leave me standing out here all day?"

"Genma Shiranui, I love you," Asuna exclaimed, taking the bag from his hand and stepping back to let him in, barely remembering to shut the door before she opened the bag and stuck her nose in it, closing her eyes as she inhaled the familiar scent of cinnamon sugar and fried dough. "You're my favorite."

"Careful, don't let your boyfriend catch you saying that," Genma teased, nearly crushing the andagi between them as he pulled her in for another hug. Her cheek squished against his chest muffled her noise of protest. "Damn, I missed you, kid."

"Call me kid again and I'll end you," Asuna warned when he released her, but the threat was ruined by her wide, child-like smile. "Come on, I've decided I'm spending all day in bed. Hang out with me?"

"Your boyfriend just left yesterday and you're already inviting me to bed? Shame on you, Shiratori," Genma tutted, but followed her anyway as she headed back to her room, laughing when she swung her arm behind her and swatted his chest. "I guess I can stay, I don't leave for my mission until tomorrow."

"What's the mission?" Asuna climbed into her bed, leaning back against the headboard and tilting her head to the empty space beside her as she opened the bag of andagi. He sat beside her, taking the fried dough ball she handed to him with a grin.

"Prisoner transfer," Genma replied around a mouthful of andagi, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye. "We picked up a missing-nin from the Sand here in the village last week, their emissary finally showed up with the transfer paperwork. We're to escort him and the prisoner back to their village. Should be easy."

"I'm surprised they didn't just send their own team for the escort. The Kazekage isn't exactly known for trusting Leaf shinobi, especially after the time I spent there." Asuna paused, chewing her food thoughtfully. She glanced up at him and found him studying a slight rip in the knee of his pants. "You need to be careful, Genma. Relations with Suna are tenuous at best and they won't hesitate to kill you if they even so much as suspect that you're up to anything."

"Yes, mother." Genma rolled his eyes, leaning over to bump his shoulder against hers. "You worry too much."

"Everyone I care about is reckless, you really think I'm not going to worry?" Asuna asked, crumpling the empty bag and dropping it on the bedside table, squirming down the headboard until she was lying flat, turning her head to look at him. "It's not that I think you can't handle yourself, you know, it's because I love you and want you to come home in one piece. You're my best friend, I'd go out of my mind if anything happened to you."

"Aw, that's sweet," he said, reaching over and gently shoving her shoulder, grinning at her. "Don't worry, Asuna, I'll be careful." He hesitated, looking thoughtful. "You know, I have a theory about why they wanted us to transport the prisoner. They might be trying to make sure that you actually died in the desert."

"That... makes a surprising amount of sense," Asuna replied, looking up at the ceiling. If that were true, she couldn't say she was surprised that the Kazekage wanted to be sure she was actually dead - sure, it had been four years, but Leaf shinobi were notoriously resilient, and he hadn't stuck around to watch her die. "He thinks I was either buried in the sand or eaten by vultures. If it comes up, official story is that I'm missing, presumed killed in action. If not, don't bring it up. If he thinks you know anything, you'll either find yourself in a cell or on the wrong end of a sword." She looked over at him, brow furrowed. "Just keep your guard up. Don't trust Rasa, because he sure as hell won't trust you."

"How many more ways do you want to say 'be careful'?" Genma teased, grinning again. "I get it, Asuna, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine."

"You better be, or I'll beat the crap out of you," Asuna warned, slugging his arm. He nudged her hand away with a laugh, settling back against the headboard. "I'm kidding. Love you, buddy."

"Back at you." They fell into a comfortable silence, and Asuna realized just how much she had missed this. Genma had been her best friend since they were children, but she couldn't remember the last time they had just spent time together like this, hanging out and joking around. Life had gotten busy for the both of them over the last four years, and between missions and duties around the village, as well as rarely sharing a day off, it was hard to find time to sit down and just enjoy each other's company. Finally getting the chance to now was nice. She hadn't fully relaxed in what felt like years, but it was easy to now being with someone she trusted so implicitly, so much so that she felt her eyelids beginning to droop.

She jerked awake a moment later, not wanting to spend what little time she got with him asleep, and found him watching her with an affectionate smile.

"If you want to sleep, go for it," he murmured, reaching over to smooth her dark hair back from her forehead. "Old ladies need their naps, you know."

"Old? I'm twenty-six, you jerk!" Asuna shoved his hand away, glaring at him with feigned irritation. He chuckled, leaning back against the headboard again. She sighed, settling back on her pillows with a scoff. " _Old_. You are right though. I feel like I haven't slept in... I don't even know how long. It's hard to sleep in enemy territory, but it feels like it's even harder to sleep when you finally get home, you know? I think it's because I'd gotten used to sleeping with other people around. Being alone feels weird."

"Yeah, I know." It was Genma's turn to sigh, reaching over to stroke her hair back again. "Go ahead and rest, Asuna. I'll be here when you wake up." Asuna nodded, turning onto her side and folding one arm beneath the pillow, smiling up at her best friend.

"Thanks, Genma," she mumbled, letting her eyes drift shut.

"Anytime, kid," he murmured in response, and she slowly drifted off to the feeling of his fingers combing through her hair.

\---

Asuna woke to a dark room and an empty bed, a blanket draped over her.

"So much for being here when I woke up," she mumbled, throwing the blanket off and getting to her feet. She froze when she heard a noise in the kitchen, a loud clattering followed by swearing. She relaxed when she recognized Genma's voice, heading out of the room and into the kitchen, where she found Genma trying - and failing - to make dinner.

"You still don't know how to cook?" Asuna asked, grinning when he turned to level a playful glare in her direction. She stepped up beside him, shooing him aside with a chuckle. "You've lived on your own how long now? Go, I got this." Genma held up his hands in defeat, moving away from the stove to sit at the table, watching her attempt to salvage his attempt at dinner. He grinned at her when she turned her head to look at him, but it fell at her next words. "Should really let me find you a girlfriend, that might help you out a lot."

"Very funny," he scoffed, shaking his head. "Last time you tried to set me up, she followed me around with scissors for three hours before I finally shook her. I'm still not sure if she was trying to cut my hair or stab me."

"With Kaori it could have been a bit of both," Asuan replied, chuckling and returning her attention to the fish frying on the stove. "I said I was sorry about that, you going to hold that over me forever?"

"Maybe." He grinned at her when she turned her head again, tapping his fingers idly on the table. "If I agree to let you try again, and that's a big if, promise me you won't set me up with someone certifiably insane."

"What about Mika, from Interrogation?" Asuna asked, looking forward again, lifting the pan from the flames. "She's sweet. Good looking, too. Legs for days and an ass that does not quit. Just your type, right?"

"Her job is to tie people up and torture them," Genma answered, and she could almost hear him rolling his senbon from one side of his mouth to the other, could almost see the thoughtful expression on his face. "Could be fun." Laughing, Asuna split the fish and rice between two plates, carrying both over to the table with chopsticks and setting one down in front of Genma. He waited until she was seated opposite him, folding his hands in front of him and bowing his head. "Thanks for the food." She mirrored him, then dug in.

"If she doesn't work out, there's always Akira," Asuna continues, lifting her chopsticks to her mouth. She chewed and swallowed, glancing over at him. "Bit of a wild card, but she's small, cute. Just don't let her catch you calling her cute, or she'll beat your face in."

"Mm, I think having my face beaten in once was enough, thanks." Genma chuckled, taking another bite of his food. Asuna hummed in response, and they fell into comfortable silence while Asuna considered who else she might suggest. She was about to speak up again when he set down his chopsticks, picking up his empty plate and carrying it to the sink. He waved off her protest, grinning over his shoulder at her. "You cooked, I'll clean."

"At least you know how to do that," she teased, ducking when he threw a wet sponge at her, laughing. "I'm kidding, Genma, jeez." She grabbed the sponge from the table, throwing it back, and he squirmed when it clocked him on the back of the head, sending soapy water down the back of his neck. He spun around, scooping up the sponge and chucking it back at her. She squealed as it caught her straight in the face, closing her eyes against the spray of soap and water. She laughed again, flinging it blindly back at him and wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. When she opened them, his back was to her and he was whistling nonchalantly as he scrubbed his plate. He took hers when she handed it to him, scrubbing it and setting it with his on the rack to dry.

"I should probably get going," Genma said, drying his hands on the towel hanging off the handle of the oven and turning to face her. "I have an early morning."

"Okay." Asuna watched him head for the door, leaning against the wall to steady himself as he tugged on his sandals. "Thank you. For coming by and spending the day with me, even if I did nap through it."

"Anytime, kid," he replied, pulling her in for a hug once he had both sandals on, kissing the top of her head. "I'll come by once I get back from my mission, we'll go get some dango with the rest of the group. Sound good?"

"Yeah." Asuna drew back, smiling up at him. "It was really good seeing you. I'm sorry we haven't had more time to hang out-"

"Don't even worry about it." His arms tightened around her as he pulled her back in, and she heard nothing but affection in his voice. "We're both busy people, it happens. We'll hang out again when I get back, I promise." She hummed in response, pressing her face into his chest. After another long moment, he released her, stepping back with another smile. "See you later." She nodded, and he turned, opening the door and leaving.

Asuna watched him go, feeling a twinge of worry as she thought about his mission. Suna was a dangerous place, especially for Hidden Leaf shinobi. Yes, she knew Genma could take care of himself, and yes, she knew he had Raido and Iwashi to back him up, but that wouldn't keep her from worrying about him every second he was gone, just like she was worried about Kakashi.

Spending time with Genma had distracted her for a while, but now that he was gone, everything she'd been thinking about before had come rushing back as soon as the door shut behind him. Sure, it was a simple escort mission, but in their line of work things went wrong all the time, and while Kakashi had been a lot better as of late, he still took unnecessary risks. A small part of her couldn't help but think that if things went sideways, he would be the first person to put himself in danger to protect his teammates.

She supposed though that it didn't do her any good to think about that now. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, and all she could do was trust that Kakashi would find his way home to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOO. It has been a bit hasn't it? Here have a fluffy bestie chapter :)


	3. Reunion

_The hair on the back of Kakashi’s neck stood on end as electricity crackled in the air around them, and his heart stuttered in his chest, nearly stopping as Haku stepped in front of Zabuza._

_The movement of his Chidori was too quick. He couldn’t stop in time._

_He could only stare, wide-eyed and frozen, as blood spattered across his face when his arm plunged through Haku’s chest, the copper tang of it and the scent of burning flesh assaulting his sensitive nose even through the fabric of his mask as the heat of the lightning partially cauterized the wound before it faded._

_And then it wasn’t Haku standing in front of him choking on blood, but Rin, a small smile on her face even as Kakashi’s world shattered around him, and then-_

Kakashi woke with a start, fingers clenched tight around the kunai he'd undoubtedly fallen asleep holding. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but glancing around their makeshift camp and realizing all was well, he let himself relax slightly, leaning back against the trunk of the tree behind him with a heavy sigh. This nightmare, like so many others, would never fade, forever burned into his memory by the Sharingan that had been given to him as a gift, yet kept proving itself to be a curse.

His grip loosened on his kunai as he looked around the camp again, watching his genin sleep. Sakura had laid out her sleeping bag near Sasuke's, leaving Naruto on the other side of the fire by himself; isolated, as he had been all his life. Kakashi felt a slight tug in his heart at the sight of the blond boy who looked so much like his former sensei, and he found himself wishing - not for the first time - that there was something, _anything_ , that he could do for him.

He was intimately aware of the loneliness he knew Naruto must be feeling, being so close to other people yet unable to make a connection, and he felt stirrings of shame - Naruto was the son of a Hokage, the son of his mentor, and he had done nothing to help, nothing to prevent him from growing up alone. Granted, he had only been fourteen at the time, but still, he should have done something.

Minato Namikaze had died thinking his son would be taken care of, and Kakashi had let him down.

_Obito. Rin. Minato-sensei._ It seemed that letting people down was all he was capable of.

His wounds tore further open as his gaze fell on Sasuke, sleeping with his back to the fire. Sasuke, the last Uchiha, clansmate of his former teammate Obito and younger brother of his former kohai Itachi. Another Uchiha he was expected to lead when it was already twice-proven that he wasn’t the best choice for that job.

He couldn’t help but think what a cruel twist of fate it was that the Hokage had put him in charge of both Naruto and Sasuke, and he wondered, not for the first time, if Sarutobi-sama had done it on purpose. He most definitely would not put it past the man.

Heaving another sigh, Kakashi dipped two fingers into his pouch and pulled out his book, focusing his attention on the pages instead of the pain clawing through his chest, forcing his demons back into the box in his mind he’d learned to carry them in - he would never be entirely rid of their dark sway, but they were much easier to live with these days, even when they found their way out of confinement to haunt him.

He knew he had Asuna to thank for that. Despite being just as broken as he was, she had still found it in her heart to reach into the darkness and pull him out, even when it was difficult, even when he fought her every step of the way, even when he had failed her and hurt her. He had given her every reason to give up on him - instead she had helped him find his footing and pick up the broken pieces of his life, had taught him that moving on didn’t mean he had to completely let go of his past, that forgiving himself didn’t mean forgetting.

She had given him her hand when he was at his lowest and taught him that the things he had gone through, the losses he had suffered, and the ghosts that haunted him did not define him. They did not control him.

It wasn’t always easy; he had spent so long numbing himself to his feelings that it was habit at this point, and while he was getting better at letting himself _feel_ , there were certain things he still had to suppress in order to function, to keep himself from reverting into old habits and fleeing full speed in the opposite direction. At times the darkness would creep back in, clenching around his heart like a vice - he could never admit it to anyone, but he wasn’t as strong as he liked to pretend he was, and it was so hard not to give into its pull, to let himself be dragged back into the depths of despair.

It was easy to fall apart, but picking up the pieces and holding himself together day after day was an entirely different story.

Through it all, though, Asuna was his light, his anchor, his calm in the middle of the storm. Allowing himself to focus on her instead of Haku’s death, overlapped with Rin’s and playing in his head on a loop, wasn’t the same as being with her but was enough to keep him steady.

Stasis was preferable to freefall, after all, and he would take what he could get.

\---

Senses on high alert, Asuna leapt into the trees, trusting her teammates to keep an eye on their charge while she scouted ahead. They had been tasked with escorting a visiting noble to Shukuba, where he would meet up with the personal guard he had sent ahead to ensure the town was secure for his visit, and even though it wasn’t a long journey, she wasn’t taking any chances - he was an affluent man, an important adviser to the daimyo of the Land of Fire, and she wasn’t about to let anything happen to him on her watch.

Finding no unfamiliar chakra signatures, she let herself drop to the path below again, whistling the all-clear to her teammates, who caught up with her a moment later. They rotated positions, Naoki Hyuga taking the lead as she fell in at the rear, glancing at their medic, Kenta Hatanaka, at their charge’s left, and then Saori Yamanaka at his right. Kenta was taking this seriously, as he should, but Saori and Naoki, both younger and entirely too focused on glory, looked bored - she couldn’t really blame them, this was a mission she could have easily handled on her own, essentially a milk run despite the high profile of their charge, but she had figured it would be a good chance to work on their formations and teamwork before they went on their next S-rank mission.

If their mission to the Hidden Sound Village had taught her anything, it was that they shouldn’t have gone until she’d pounded the meaning of teamwork into their heads and it _stuck_.

Asuna couldn’t blame her teammates for their failure, though. As their leader, it fell on her shoulders to ensure they were properly prepared, mentally and physically, to handle a mission of that caliber, and it had been her call to take the mission despite her reservations about how her team would handle it. Her misjudgment had cost them valuable intel, but they had made it home unscathed, and she would always chalk that up as a win.

They had just reached the gates of Shukuba when a whistle from their left caught her attention, and she called their group to a halt as a man in a blank, Anbu-style mask dropped from a tree less than a yard away.

“Lord Goro,” he greeted the nobleman, bowing his head in a show of respect before turning his attention to Asuna. “Thank you, we’ll take it from here. Give your Hokage our regards.” He didn’t wait for her to respond, leading the nobleman through the gates.

“So,” Asuna said, turning to her teammates once they were out of view, crossing her arms over her chest. “Good job, you three. You kept formation, paid attention to the signals, and you successfully completed your mission.”

“Does this mean we can go home? This is so stupid.” Naoki yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “Escort work is so boring.”

“Escort missions are the most common missions assigned to us,” Asuna replied, narrowing her eyes at the Hyuga. “We’re tasked with making sure anyone from civilians to the daimyo himself get from point A to point B safely. It may be boring, but it is very important.” Her eyes narrowed further when Naoki rolled his. “Drop the attitude, or I’ll put you on genin-level D-ranks for a week. Get in formation, I’m still grading you.”

“God, it’s like being at the Academy all over again,” Naoki grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from her.

“What was that?” she snapped, reaching over and grabbing him by the ear, ignoring his cry of protest. “You want to go back to the Academy and embarrass the Hyuga clan? I can make that happen, Naoki, or you can shut your mouth and listen to your captain. Get. In. Formation.” Rubbing his ear and glaring at her, he did as she ordered, keeping quiet the entire trip back to the village, running off the instant they reached the gates and she dismissed them.

Sighing, she waved to Kotetsu Hagane and Izumo Kamizuki, the gate guards on duty, picking up a mission report form and heading home. She hated filling out reports, but right now she was actually glad that D-ranks didn’t require a verbal report to the Hokage, because while they had been successful, she had absolutely nothing good to say about her team.

She was halfway up the stairs to her apartment when she felt it - the familiar crackle of chakra, dark around the edges but brighter than ever before, like a flash of lightning across the night sky. _Kakashi_. Unable to hold back a smile, she took the rest of the stairs two at a time, nearly dropping her keys as she fumbled with the lock. She pushed the door open to find Kakashi sitting on the couch, looking down at the pages of an orange-covered book, but his eyes were still, and while he was physically present, he looked like his mind was hundreds of miles away.

“Kakashi,” Asuna announced herself, but he still tensed, reaching for a kunai, as she sat beside him and touched his arm. The look on his face worried her, even more so when he gave her a tight-lipped smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, relaxing only slightly into her touch. “When did you get back? Are you okay?”

“Better now,” he answered, as close to honest as he was going to get at the moment as he tugged down his mask and leaned down to give her the kiss he couldn’t in the alley last month, effectively ending the conversation before she could pry any further. When he drew back, the expression that had concerned her was gone, masked behind another smile and a spark of something devilish in his eyes. “I heard there was dirty ‘I missed you’ sex waiting for me?”

“Can’t we just get ramen?” Asuna asked, quashing her worry and giving him an innocent smile when he groaned, head dropping against the back of the couch. “What? I’m starving. Though…” She turned toward him, shifting her leg over his lap to straddle him, pressing him back into the couch. His eyes were wide and a little startled as she leaned in, catching his hands before he could touch her. “I did miss you...”

“Asuna...” Kakashi’s hands strained against her hold as she rolled her hips against him, catching him in a slow, controlled kiss and pinning his hands to the couch. Her heart was racing, pounding almost painfully against her ribcage - he had never let her do this before, but they both knew she couldn’t hold him down if he didn’t want her to, so she took it as a sign to continue.

She drew back to look at him, finding his eyes still closed, head still tipped back, and she couldn’t resist trailing soft kisses down the taut column of his throat as she shifted again, releasing his hands to slide hers beneath his shirt, pushing the fabric up. He raised his arms so she could tug it over his head, tossing it aside before leaning in to kiss him once more.

She could tell he wasn’t entirely comfortable with her on top, so she didn’t protest when he grasped her thighs, wrapping her legs around him when he stood and clinging to him as he made his way to the bedroom. She focused on his neck and shoulders, kissing and nipping at the smooth expanse of pale skin before her.

Her back struck the closed door with a _thud_ , destination momentarily forgotten as Kakashi caught her in a heated, almost bruising kiss, hands tightening on her thighs. She responded eagerly, hungrily, sliding one hand up into his hair and reaching down with the other, fumbling blindly for the doorknob. He was unprepared for the door suddenly swinging open and stumbled, correcting just in time to keep from falling to the floor.

“Sorry,” Asuna said, giggling as he broke the kiss, returning his attention to getting her to the bed.

“Sure you are,” he replied, but he didn’t sound angry, and he even chuckled as he lowered her to the bed, leaning down to kiss her again as he slipped the button of her pants free. She lifted her hips to help him as he tugged them down, kicking them to the floor and pulling him down on top of her, needing him so much closer.

The clock ticked. Their remaining clothes hit the floor with soft _thuds_. The world around them ceased to exist as they finally joined, entirely wrapped up in each other.

Soft moans mingled with heavy breaths, seeming to echo in the otherwise silent room. Asuna arched into Kakashi with a soft gasp as his pace quickened, fingers clenching into his back. He winced when her nails bit into his skin, but didn’t falter, leaning down to kiss her. He couldn’t hold the kiss as his hips smacked into hers, instead shifting to bury his face in the crook of her neck, thrusts becoming increasingly erratic as he neared release.

He tried to rein himself in, to regain some semblance of self-control, but it had been too long without her, and he pulled out with a sharp inhale and a hastily mumbled apology, reaching his completion on her stomach.

He hovered over her for a long moment, breathing heavily against her neck, then drew back, kissing her forehead and then her lips. Disappointment and frustration flooded her as he shifted to lay on his side next to her, but it faded the instant he kissed her again, slipping a hand between her legs.

“Come on, that’s it,” he murmured as her hips bucked into his hand, gently coaxing her to orgasm. In that moment, the world around her disappeared, leaving only Kakashi, holding her closer as she came completely unraveled, stars dancing behind eyes squeezed so tightly shut it physically hurt. She clung to him even after her high had faded, until he withdrew, pressing a soft, tender kiss to her forehead before getting up. She barely had time to react to his absence before he was back, gently cleaning her stomach with what felt like a damp rag.

“I love you,” she mumbled, hand catching his before he could move away again, eyes blinking open to look up at him. He hummed in response, pressing another kiss to her forehead before climbing into bed beside her again, pulling her into his arms. It didn’t bother her as much as it once had that he couldn’t say it back - she understood how much it terrified him, caring for something that death could touch, his fear that he would be her death sentence, so she had never pushed the issue; instead, she told him as often as she could, never once letting him forget that she wasn’t going anywhere whether he could tell her he loved her or not.

Because the truth was, she knew.

She knew it as surely as she knew the sun would rise each day and set each night.

Kakashi didn’t have to tell her how he felt about her. She could see it in the way he looked at her, like she was the only thing on this earth that could ever matter, could feel it in the way he touched her - gentle, careful, as though he thought one wrong move might break her. Each action he took with her spoke to a level of affection she had once thought him incapable of - his way of sharing with her the truth of his feelings without actually admitting them out loud.

Smiling, she nuzzled closer, taking full advantage of this rare moment in which Kakashi didn’t seem to mind cuddling, and as she slowly surrendered to sleep, all she could think was that this was a much better reunion than their all too brief moment in the alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYOOOO. Howzit readers, have some smut cuz I love smut and I love you :D


	4. Broken Things

Kakashi woke long before the sun, turning his head to look at Asuna, still fast asleep at his side with her head on his chest. He couldn't help but smile when he heard her mumbling under her breath - he had missed the sound of her talking in her sleep.

He watched her for a while, studying every little detail of her - the dark splay of her hair across the pillow, the tiny scar through her eyebrow he'd never really noticed before, the soft fan of her eyelashes on her cheek... She was so beautiful, but the furrow of her brow, that slight crinkle across the bridge of her nose told him whatever she was dreaming about was worrying her. Hesitantly, he lifted his hand and stroked her hair back, stilling when she stirred. She sighed, brow relaxing slightly as she nuzzled closer, but she didn't wake, and he gently resumed stroking her hair until she fully relaxed under his touch.

He lifted his head to press a kiss to the top of hers, then carefully slipped out of the bed, tucking his pillow into the space he'd just vacated beside her. He stood at the edge of the bed, staring down at her for a moment longer - he wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and curl up with her again, but he hadn't been able to shake this deep, throbbing pain that had made its home in his chest since the bridge that told him he couldn't. That he couldn't get back in bed, that he couldn't be here.

Tearing his eyes away, he picked his pants up from the floor and tugged them on, blindly gathering his bindings before sneaking out of the room, silently shutting the door behind him. He stooped down by the couch to pick up his shirt, still on the floor, pulling the dark blue fabric over his head and tugging his mask up over his face. Sighing, he sank onto the couch and wrapped his legs, pausing when he heard a loud banging noise outside, followed by barking - he hoped the noise didn't wake Asuna, and if it did, he hoped he could finish making his escape before she noticed he was gone. Finishing his wraps, he got up, walking to the door and putting on his sandals.

Kakashi was about to leave when he heard the bedroom door opening, gaze locking with Asuna's tired, confused eyes just before the front door shut.

Maybe it was a mistake, leaving, but he had been laying there in that bed with Asuna and it had felt... suffocating. As much as he had missed her, as glad as he was to be with her again, it had felt suffocating and he didn't know what to do with that. He knew she wasn't the problem, it had nothing to do with her - this was all him.

Haku's face flashed in his mind again as he walked slowly through the village, his hands stuffed in his pockets and head bowed low. He didn't need to look up to know where he was going, feet carrying him on the familiar, well-worn path to the cemetery almost of their own accord until he stood before the familiar stone.

Heaving a sigh, his gaze traced dully over Rin's name. He missed her all the time - but since the bridge, it hurt in a way it hadn't in a long while. Today, every wound he had tried to keep taped shut had reopened, as painful and raw as the day they had been inflicted.

Today, he let himself feel it, as strongly as he had the moment he'd woken up in the hospital after, looking up at Minato-sensei through eyes hazy with exhaustion and tears. The heartbreak etched into every line of Minato-sensei's weary, bloodstained face had told him that it wasn't just a horrible dream; the agony constricting around his lungs was real, and, the pain too big for his small body to bear, he had broken down.

Minato-sensei had cried, too, his voice had broken as he pulled Kakashi into a tight hug and apologized for not being there, reassuring him that he was here now, promising that he would always be there. Like a fool, Kakashi had believed him, and now he was alone. Minato-sensei was gone, just like everyone else, and Asuna... He couldn't face Asuna right now. Not after what had happened, not knowing what could happen, not after sneaking out so early without so much as a goodbye.

He wondered if she would leave him now, too. He had lied, had broken his promise to her, and he wouldn't be surprised if she was angry and wanted out. If she did, well... That was probably for the best. Kakashi had a bad habit of destroying everything he touched, what had happened in the Land of Waves was further proof of that.

Their mission had been successful, yes, but that couldn't distract him from the simple fact that he had willfully ignored his team's inexperience in favor of completing a mission that was well beyond their skill level - his decision had put them directly in harm's way. He had nearly gotten them killed. He _had_  killed a child, not much older than his students. He had killed Rin. He had gotten Obito killed, Asuna... Everyone who had died, or almost died, around him followed a pattern - and he was the common thread.

"I wish you were here," he mumbled finally, closing his eye. He didn't bother trying to suppress the hollow ache in his chest. "You would know what to do. You always knew what to do." He paused, biting back a choked laugh when he realized what he had just said. "What am I saying. If you were here, this wouldn't even be a problem."

If she were here, it would be easy.

If she were here, he could be something more than this hollow, broken thing.

Kakashi fell into silence once more, unable to open his eye and end the montage currently flashing across his eyelids on a loop. His father, sprawled on their living room floor in his own blood. Obito, crushed beneath the rocks. Rin, his arm through her chest. Asuna, impaled on her brother's sword. Haku...

He wasn't sure how long he stood there reliving his greatest hits - long enough for the early morning fog to lift, the first golden rays of sunlight creeping over the horizon, warming the unseasonably chilly spring morning. Long enough to regret leaving Asuna's apartment.

Sighing, Kakashi opened his eye, staring down at Rin's headstone for a moment longer before turning and making his way out of the cemetery. The streets of Konoha were busier as he walked slowly back to Asuna's, beginning to fill with shinobi heading in for their assignments. It didn't bother him that most of them gave him a wide berth - he preferred the space. There were certainly exceptions, but he had never been one to exchange hellos or make small talk with his colleagues.

He took the steps up to Asuna's apartment two at a time, finding the door unlocked as he let himself back in. His gaze instantly fell on Asuna, sitting on the couch in one of his shirts and reading his book, a flicker of awe almost overwhelming the worry burrowed deep in his gut. Almost.

"Hey," she said when the door shut, setting the book aside and smiling, patting the space beside her. The lack of anger in her voice gave him pause, and he watched her for a long moment before kicking off his sandals, tugging down his mask as he joined her on the couch. "I'm glad you're back."

"You're not mad?" he asked, hesitantly wrapping his arm around her shoulders when she leaned against his side.

"Why would I be mad?" she answered, tipping her head back to look up at him, brow furrowing slightly. He tensed slightly as her hand came up toward his face, relaxing again when her fingers only brushed through his hair. He didn't miss the flash of confusion in her eyes. "I was worried about you."

"I just needed some air, I'm sorry," he assured her, resisting the urge to flinch at his own half-truth. He caught her hand in his when she lowered it back to her lap, open eye following the motion as he laced their fingers together. It was a simple, innocent intimacy - the kind that did not come easily to him, but it felt right in the moment. Natural, even.

"Kakashi," Asuna murmured, and he looked back up as her fingers tightened on his, holding his hand there - holding him there. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'm here when you're ready to talk about it, okay? I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Kakashi's left eye opened as he met her eyes again, and everything disappeared, the intensity of her gaze stripping away every defense he shouldn't have even bothered putting up around himself. He had once been afraid of those eyes, terrified to lose himself in the deep, mesmerizing blue-green of the ocean he saw there, to lose himself in her, to let himself be so vulnerable. But now he couldn't look away, something warm fluttering deep in his chest when the corners crinkled slightly as she smiled.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asked before he could stop himself, unable to hold back his own smile when she laughed, the sound like music to his ears. "What? It's a valid question-"

"A cheesy question," she answered, silencing his protest with a soft, quick kiss. She feigned a serious expression when she drew back just enough to look at him, but she couldn't hide the mischievous glint in her eye, and he found it unbelievably endearing. "You know, I'm not entirely sure yet. Why don't we go get some food and then you can show me what _you_ think you did to deserve me?"

"We could skip the food and I could show you something else," he murmured, smirking and closing the distance between them, kissing her again. His mind flashed back to yesterday, remembering how it felt to have the warm weight of her in his lap, and he couldn't help but lean back, pulling her over to straddle him. He kept his hands on her this time - touching her was almost a compulsion, one hand gripping her thigh, the other slowly tracing her spine as it slid up the soft skin of her back.

"Mm," Asuna moaned softly into the kiss, rolling her hips when she felt him reacting beneath her. He groaned when she stilled, bucking up against her, but she pressed her hand to his chest, drawing back and smiling at him. "But I'm starving. Lunch first."

"No," Kakashi whined as she got up, opening his eyes to watch her walk across the room, following the cascade of her hair down her back and the tantalizing sway of her hips. "I hate you."

"You love me," she countered, grinning over her shoulder at him as she opened the bedroom door, disappearing inside, completely unaware of the effect her words were having on him, that warm flutter from before coming back tenfold.

"Yeah," he mumbled as the door shut behind her, the slight irritation he felt at her sudden departure dissipating and a dazed smile spreading unbidden across his face, eyes still on the door. "Yeah, I do."

Kakashi knew she couldn't hear him, but he had admitted it out loud for the first time, and that was a step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the ending didn't quite go the way I had originally planned, but you know what? I'm glad it didn't. This way was definitely better. :)


	5. Answers

The streets of Konoha were busy as Asuna and Kakashi made their way to Ichiraku, and while Asuna could tell that being out together in public made Kakashi uncomfortable, he said nothing about it, merely kept a respectable distance between them as they walked. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her that he could be so close to her when they were alone, yet act as though they were mere acquaintances outside the confines of their homes, but at the same time, she understood. She just had to be patient, and resist the urge to reach out and take his hand.

They made idle small talk as they walked, and after a detour to avoid Kakashi’s genin, the ramen stand finally came into view. They were a few steps away when a masked Anbu operative materialized in front of them, eyes locking on Asuna's.

"The Hokage has requested a word with you, Captain Shiratori," he said, forgoing any greeting and leaving as quickly as he had appeared.

"So much for my day off," Asuna muttered, glancing up at Kakashi, who shrugged one shoulder in defeat. "To be continued." Tossing a casual wave in his direction, she turned and headed for the Hokage's tower, leaping up onto the rooftops to get around the crowds. If Lord Third was surprised by her sudden entrance through his open window, he didn't let it show.

"Hokage-sama," she greeted him, stepping in front of his desk and bowing. "You wanted to see me?"

"Apologies for interrupting your day off, but you have a mission," he replied, folding his hands and resting his elbows on the desk. "You are to go to the training caves at once, and you are to go alone - he will only speak to you. There is no time for questions, you must go now."

"Yes, sir." Asuna bowed once more, then left the same way she came in.

The training caves were a few miles outside the village walls, so she set off right away, running across the rooftops toward the west gate. The guards there looked up in surprise as she leapt overhead, landing briefly atop the wall before jumping down into the trees, but didn't try to stop her. She was grateful for that - she had an inkling as to what waited for her there, and she didn't want to miss her chance.

The bridge came into view, and she slowed her pace as she approached, expanding her senses until she felt a familiar chakra signature inside the cave. So he was here. She followed his chakra into the dark cave, one hand out to her side to guide her path until she saw the flicker of candlelight ahead.

"I'm here," Asuna called softly, blinking slowly as she stepped into the light, heart skipping a beat when a figure approaching slowly from across the circular room came into view.

"Thanks for coming, little sister," Akio greeted her, keeping a safe distance of several feet between them as he stopped. She tensed, fingers instinctively dipping into her kunai pouch when he reached into his pocket, but he only held up a scroll before lowering his hand to his side. She didn't miss the look of hurt that flashed in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to move so suddenly."

"It's okay." She watched him warily as he tossed the scroll from hand to hand, avoiding her gaze. It had been a long time since she'd seen him, and he looked different from the last time they'd met - older, worn, tired. "Akio, why are you here? Why risk coming so close to the village?"

"I wanted to see you," he answered honestly, finally looking up at her. The dark circles under his eyes spoke to many sleepless nights, the wrinkles that formed around his mouth as he frowned making him look older than he was. "I know, it's dangerous. But things have... escalated. More quickly than I thought they would. I didn't know when I would get a chance like this again."

"What's going on?" Asuna took a step toward him, pausing when he immediately stepped back. "Akio."

"It's best you stay back," he said, his expression shifting - his nerves, which had been apparent from the moment she'd laid eyes on him, suddenly melted away, replaced by an indecipherable mask. "At this distance, my curse mark shouldn't react to your chakra, so please, just stay over there."

"Your curse mark reacts to chakra?" Asuna asked, her curiosity outweighing her unease. Something about this situation didn't quite feel right, but he had piqued her interest with this sudden answer to a question she'd spent her own sleepless nights agonizing over.

"Yes," Akio answered, fingers clenching around the scroll as his free hand rose to cover the side of his neck. "It's part of why I kept you sedated for so long after I found you in the desert, and why I suppressed your chakra after I... after I hurt you. It was for your safety."

"Akio..."

"That's not what I wanted to discuss with you," he interrupted before she could say anything else, and she felt his chakra surge as it enveloped the scroll in his hand. When it faded, he tossed the scroll to her. "I don't have much, but the moves Orochimaru has been making lately are alarming. That scroll contains every scrap of intel I've been able to gather."

Asuna carefully unrolled the scroll, wary of the possibility of traps but pleasantly surprised to find none, scanning the information scrawled across it. He was right, it wasn't much, but what was there was cause for concern.

"Thank you for this," she said, looking up at him as she rolled it back up once more, sealing it with her own chakra. She suddenly felt a strange urge to cross the distance and hug him, despite the danger and the fact that he was not the brother she had once known. "I'll make sure the Hokage gets it."

"Good." He nodded brusquely, drawing his cloak tight around him. He was putting up a good front, but she recognized the act for what it was - a sign of his uncertainty. "Look, Asuna, I want you to know that I'm trying. I'm close to figuring this out, and if I do, if Orochimaru doesn't kill me first... I'd like to come home."

"I'd like that, Akio," Asuna replied quietly, shifting her weight from foot to foot, feeling a rush of unbearable, desperate longing. She wanted that, wanted it so badly she thought her heart might burst from the pain of it. But she had no say in the matter - if she did, he would be home already. "It's not up to me, though."

"I understand." He chanced something resembling a small smile, one she couldn't help but return. It was a familiar sight, one she had missed dearly. It fell a moment later. "You should go."

"Okay." Asuna turned to go, pausing when she recalled what he had said about his curse mark, understanding now why she had felt so uneasy. "Wait a second. The first time we fought, your curse mark didn't activate, even though you were in close contact with my chakra."

"That wasn't me," he answered simply, sounding even more exhausted than he had before. "I knew once you'd recognized me, you wouldn't stop looking, so that man I was with in the village that day - my handler, I suppose you could call him - transformed into me to buy me time to get away."

"I see." Asuna took a deep breath, turning to face him once more. She took a step toward him, faltering when he took a large step back. It stung, but she understood why he had done it. "Akio, I have to know. Why didn't you reach out to me? I’m your sister, I could have helped you."

"It's a big brother's duty to protect his little sister, isn't it?" Akio gave her that small smile of his again, taking another step back, melting into the shadows. "I know you have more questions, but you should go. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."

"Be safe, Akio." Asuna called after him, clutching the scroll tighter when there was a sudden puff of smoke. A shadow clone. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised he hadn't come in person. Shaking her head, she tucked the scroll into her pouch and headed back outside.

"Did it go all right?" a male voice asked as she stepped out into the sunlight, and she sighed when she saw Genma standing just outside the cave.

"The Hokage told you," she surmised, stepping past him and making her way across the bridge. He fell into step behind her, chewing idly on his senbon. "I suppose you think it was stupid of me, agreeing to meet with him, but he only wanted to share intel. I didn't need backup, so-"

"His intentions don't matter," Genma interrupted, his unexpectedly sharp tone stopping her in her tracks. He strode forward until he was in front of her, and her gaze snapped up to meet his - despite the anger she heard in his voice, she saw nothing but worry and barely suppressed fear in his eyes. "He's a fugitive, and he's dangerous. The last two times you met, he attacked you - hell, last time he nearly killed you! We spent weeks thinking you were-"

"I know what you thought," Asuna snapped, eyes narrowing in response. "And I know what you think now, that I'm stupid and reckless when it comes to Akio - and maybe I am... but he's my brother. I have to believe that there's a way to save him and bring him home." Her expression softened, and she couldn't help but reach out to take his hand. "I know you understand what I'm saying, Genma, because you did the same thing for me. That's what you do for family, isn't it?"

"Asuna..." The way he said her name was almost a question, confusion and uncertainty flaring to life in his brown eyes. He didn’t seem to know what to make of her statement.

"What?" She cocked her head, blue eyes narrowing slightly before a large grin spread across her face. "We may not be blood, but we are family. I thought you knew that, you dummy."

"I..." He stared at her for a long moment, blinking slowly, and then he glanced away, chuckling. "I hate it when you're right."

"That's because I'm always right," she teased, stepping forward to press her cheek to his chest, wrapping her arms around him. He seemed surprised by the sudden show of affection, but was quick to return it, resting his chin on top of her head. "Look, I'm not asking you to like it, Genma. I'm just asking you to trust me."

"I trust you," he said, without hesitation, and she smiled, embrace tightening. Her smile faltered at his next words. "But I don't trust him."

"Genma, he's-" She didn’t quite know where she was going with that sentence. In the past, she would have known what to say in Akio’s defense in a heartbeat, but now she barely knew him. His eyes might be the same, but everything else about him had changed. Despite that, though, he was still Akio. He was still her family, and some irrational part of her desperately wanted to ignore all the evidence that said she shouldn’t believe him and simply trust him the way she once had.

"I know." As always, Genma seemed to know what she was thinking. He held her out at arms length, reaching up with one hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He studied her for a moment, then shook his head with a sigh, palm flattening against her cheek. "No one can stop you once you set your mind to something, Asuna, and I'm definitely not going to be the idiot that tries. Just tell me if he makes contact again, okay? I'll be your backup, no questions asked."

Asuna stared at him incredulously for a long moment, then gripped the sides of his flak jacket, pulling him back in for another tight hug.

"Thank you, Genma," she murmured, pulling back and going up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, then pushed him away, grinning. "Now come on, I have a lunch date I don't want to miss."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, chuckling, and together they turned and made their way back to the village. As they ran, Asuna couldn't help but glance over at him, but the new sense of peace she felt in that moment wasn’t enough to erase the ominous feeling gnawing away at her insides.

A storm was coming, and all she could do was hope that they’d be ready when it hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo! So honestly the majority of this chapter is dialogue but it's important dialogue!
> 
> Also I don't know if yall know this, but these characters now have SHIP NAMES. Kakashi/Asuna is KakaShira, and, courtesy of my love Bee, Genma/Asuna is ShiraShira (also, fun fact, I've taken to writing some ShiraShira one-shots because I love them together and i do what i want)
> 
> Anyway, on a more chapter related note, have some answers! Some of the pieces are finally starting to come together :)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto and all recognizable characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Any OCs are creations of my imagination.
> 
> Inspired by a series of headcanon requests I've received from the lovely ASH anon on Tumblr, based around the ANBU/sensei/Hokage phases of Kakashi's life.
> 
> I'll try my best to keep it in character and tag as I go. Constructive criticism is always encouraged!


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